When I first moved to Paris, I felt like a complete poser doing the local greeting (la bise) of double kisses. As with anything in France, there are layers of complexity to the act that must guide your actions, but for all who didn’t grow up in the culture, it’s up to you to figure the dance out.

The first hurdle is figuring out if you will in fact actually take part in the social practice; Europeans usually think that bissous-ing makes Americans uncomfortable (which it often does), so they go with the American handshake, stilting you mid-lean-in for the kisses.

In an instance where the bissous will actually be taking place, the question arises of how many. Just one? Maybe the standard two. Or what about three or an even four? And are we really just grazing opposite cheeks? Will we be making any kind of muah sound?  Do you prefer no physical face-to-face contact to be made at all?  The possibilities are endless, which is why I love this map that divides France in terms of bissous.

By the end of my time in Paris, it felt so normal that I loved the greeting (a standard two with cheek to cheek grazing and no actual kisses) – even in the most awkward of situations. Just throw yourself in and see how it turns out – it’s pretty French, or at least my life in France. These days, I secretly wish I had friends that I greeted this way, but something tells me Texas is not will never be ready for it. They’ll totally think we’re posers for it.