In 2012…

I traveled by myself to Ireland, walking both the streets of Dublin and the coast of Howth. I castle-hopped in the Loire Valley, spent Easter in the warm spring breath of the Cote d’Azur, had high tea with the Mad Hatter, met a friend in Barcelona and pinched myself every day for a week as I treaded ancient paths in Athens and Santorini. I saw Paris covered in snow, graduated with a Masters in one of the city’s grandest theaters, got to show my favorite parts of Paris to my family and watch their faces as they climbed the 119 steps to my teeny tiny apartment. I broke my own heart when I left Paris and tried to readjust to life in the States, but since coming back, have been blessed to spend time with friends, backpack in New Mexico, visit NOLA, discover Boston and weather a hurricane with New Yorkers.

I’ve watched friends step out and move to new cities far from home as well as join hands with another and step into the future with engagements and marriages. I’ve received the beyond thrilling news that come May, I’ll have a nephew to love and I’ve also been frustrated as I realize that job searching is hard and that while the next thing is on its way, its exact arrival date isn’t what I would have picked. I’ve struggled with definitions of identity and success and been humbled by the fact that I need God every day as I pursue this new chapter of life.

…

So I guess you could say, the first half of 2012 as an unbelievable adventure where every day was a rich gift of foreign discovery and the second of of 2012 was an arduous, often painful hike through the first few hundred feet a new altitude of adulthood. And while part of me would like to forget these broken-hearted, difficult months and just remember the exciting adventures of the year’s first half, I know that both are important to my story and to the work God is doing in me. Both have pushed me in different ways, bringing me back to Him, sometimes with joy and gratitude for the moment and other times in despair and for lack of understanding.

As I opened presents on Christmas, several gifts I was surprised to see, were things I can’t quite use yet – utensils for a future kitchen, photos and drawings to be hung in future living spaces, beautiful ornaments with which to don my own tree. And in opening each gift, I felt a promise whispered, because in one way or another, each gift was for a life that the givers could see coming. These things, they may sound small and it may seem silly, but I know that they are echoes of what lies ahead. In all good stories, you find foreshadowing, don’t you? Details where, if you pay attention, hints are given of what’s going to happen. And of all the storytellers, God is the Master Storyteller. This Christmas, He have me a gift of foreshadow.

So as I look at 2013 and think about what my goals should be (I’m so bad at these) and wonder what God has planned, I don’t know that 2013 will match 2012 in miles and countries traveled, but I have a feeling in its own way, it will be a year of wonder: celebration with babies and marriages, changes with jobs and new cities, new relationships with people I’ve never imagined and a deeper walk with God. Through all of the beautiful and brutal of 2012, He spoke to me, moved my soul, held my heart and provided what I needed (not necessarily what I wanted) in the time I most needed. This new year belongs to Him and I am eager to walk its length alongside Him.

In 2013 I want to…
-push myself
-continue pursuing writing and new relationships
-see places I’ve never seen before
-be a deeper, more intentional friend and family member
-stand on my own as a paycheck-making adult

Those are my goals for the year, but my hope will always remain the same: in Christ, our Lord and Savior.

I’m excited to walk this year with you too – thanks for always showing up here and so many other places in my life.

 

Love,

C